Why?

 

woman wearing face mask
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Yesterday, I woke up in a very strange mood. I turned on the TV and CBS Sunday Morning wasn’t on and the CBS news I was getting was from LA because the New York studios were closed for cleaning. I just had a feeling that things were changing and changing fast. I was right. Gatherings went from 250 to 100 to 50 in one day. (As I write this, it is now 10 people). We went to Target and the grocery store when we heard that all wineries, bars and brewpubs were being asked to close in California. Molly and I cancelled our trip to Palm Springs next week and rescheduled it to June. We did go out to dinner at our favorite Indian restaurant and got gelato. We practiced social distancing. I ended the day feeling a little more in control.

But this morning, I am mad. I realize I was mad yesterday and I just didn’t recognize the feeling for what it was. You see, if you live in California, you have been living with the Covid-19 virus since the end of January. If you are a supporter of President Trump, you probably don’t want to read the rest of this blog. The following are my opinions and my doubts about the leadership of the country, so readers beware!

When the first Americans were flown home from Wuhan, China, they were flown to military bases in California. This was the last week of January. I remember thinking to myself, why is this not making more of a headline? Why does the government think they can bring people into the US with the possibility of a deadly disease with no vaccine and it’s not going to spread in the U.S.? I became complacent because the government was complacent. The news continued to be bad about the virus, all bad, but Trump blew it off. “No big deal”, “It’s a hoax”, “Live your daily lives”, all things Trump said in the early days. Of course, social media didn’t help. Our country is so divided by politics, that we couldn’t see this for what it really is – A WORLD HEALTH CRISIS.

How did things get to out of hand? How is the United States of America not prepared for a pandemic of this scope? How did our great nation ignore that our lives were going to change forever?

My answer-it all goes back to Trump and his lack of experience, judgment and empathy for the citizens of this nation. He has been so focused on hate, that this pandemic came up and bit him in the ass. He has cut staff and budget at the CDC and NIH. He seemed to think that this virus could not affect Americans. I got news for you Mr. Trump; this virus doesn’t care if you are rich, white, illegal or homeless. We are all capable of contracting it. AND, you can have the virus and not even know it!!

Why, why, why, when you knew this virus was spreading, did you not order resources (I mean money), to make testing kits? Why isn’t testing available for free for every person in this country? Why isn’t the world working together to develop a vaccine? Again, it comes back to hate and greed.

Not only am I mad, I am disappointed in my fellow humans who felt the need to hoard resources. Who actually needs 96 rolls of toilet paper? Grocery stores aren’t closing folks, so stop acting like 3-year-olds who don’t know how to share! Save some for your fellow humans who need it as much as you do. Why, oh why, did Costco allow people to hoard? Again, the reason is greed. They are making so much money!! Yeah us! Guess what, Costco; your stock is in the toilet just like all other stocks.

Our country has veered so far from our core beliefs. “One nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all”. Where is the one nation? We are a nation divided. Where is God? We forget that people seeking religious freedom created our nation. Yet, we want to build a wall to keep them out. Liberty and justice for all?? Liberty and justice for those who can afford it, you mean.

This pandemic will change lives forever. Personally, our retirement just got a whole lot more restrictive. Who knows if we will ever make up the money we have lost in the stock market? Small businesses are going to close. Hourly employees with no health insurance will suffer with no pay and no money to pay for treatment if they get sick. Even the untouchable Disney is losing money. NOTHING will be the same because of a man who cares nothing about the citizens of this nation.

I am mad and you should be too. This nation is better than this. This nation is smarter than this. Was anyone else amazed that Trump, who is in the high-risk category, held a news conference TODAY in a room with more that 10 people? Why the hell isn’t the leader of the free world protecting himself? Because his ego is so big he doesn’t think he can get the virus. Where is your self-isolating, Mr. Trump?

Those of you, who know me, know I have never been a Trump supporter. But this goes beyond supporting a candidate based on your political views. This goes to the very nature of staying the “United States of America” and that is not possible under the leadership of this current president. Please exercise your right to vote and vote for the safety and future of our country. And pray. If you don’t believe in a higher power, you need to now. May God be with us all.

Safe travels,

Lori

 

 

 

Dear Irene

Irene picture

 

Something happened to me last month. I fell in love, with a dog. Not just any dog, a kind of funny looking rescue dog. I know, I am a dog person; so falling in love with a rescue dog shouldn’t seem unusual. But this love affair started just a few weeks after the loss of my dear Archie, my soul mate dog. I wasn’t looking to fall in love, but you never know what God has in store for you.

It was our first Doodle Romp since Archie had died and we were not sure about going. But our Doodle friends had been so wonderful with their support during Archie’s sickness and passing, we had to go. We had to let Lola see her friends and have some fun.

When Irene’s (then Dixie’s) foster parents showed up at our lunch before the romp, I realized they were there for us. Our friends are directors for the Doodle Rescue Collective (DRC) and I knew there was a mini doodle coming up for adoption. When I first approached the little dog, she was nervous and not ready to meet new people. So, I waited awhile and tried again. I sat on the ground and she warmed up to me. I started talking to her foster parents about her past, and was heart broken that she had had such a rough start. Then, I picked her up and held her in my lap. She curled her head around my neck like our cockapoo Annabelle used to and I was gone. It took a whole second of snuggles and a piece of my heart forever belonged to this little scamp of a dog.

Kevin wasn’t feeling good that day and his grief over the loss of Archie was still heavy on his heart. He didn’t hear Irene’s story, he didn’t snuggle her, and he barely petted her. He just wasn’t feeling it. Not to mention, we had a deposit on a puppy due the end of February. Basically, he thought I was nuts.

I understood his concerns. Our number one priority was getting his heart back to normal rhythm. We couldn’t make any decisions until he was better. We were blessed and his cardio version worked; and that piece of my heart still belonged to Irene.

The DRC is a wonderful rescue organization and we are honored that we passed the application process. I had worn Kevin down to at least letting us officially apply. There were several applications for Irene and we offered to do another meet and greet. Kevin was finally onboard with meeting with the foster parents and the puppy again. She had been spayed during our time getting Kevin’s heart better and she was ready to be adopted.

Last Saturday, the day after Irene turned one-year-old, her wonderful foster parents came to our house and spent two hours letting Irene get to know us and Lola. It didn’t start out well. Our sweet Lola, who hasn’t a mean bone in her body, didn’t like Irene at first. As a matter of fact, she was awful to her. Irene was stressed and I started to wonder if we WERE the right family for her. I can’t say how much I appreciate the patience Irene’s foster parents gave her and us! They worked with Irene and Lola and gave us tips on how to handle Irene’s behaviors. By the time they left, both dogs were calmer and tolerating each other.  And Kevin was just as much in love as I was. The foster parents just wanted one more assurance we were the right family. They knew we went to the Doodle Romp every month and they wanted to see how Irene did in that environment.

Let’s just say, Irene is a natural at Doodle Romps. She played and never stopped!! By the end of the romp, our adoption was official!! We signed the contract Sunday and brought her home Monday.

From the moment she came in our door, Irene has been HOME. As I write this, Lola and Irene are lying next to each other sleeping at my feet. Kevin is convinced that I am some kind of dog guru. I know-I just followed my heart.

Safe travels,

Lori

 

 

Gratitude

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Last week I “escaped” from my life. Kevin’s heart rate was stable and we weren’t getting along. (If you are retired, you understand.) My dear friends Jennifer and Scott allowed me to invite myself to their new apartment in Phoenix. They just moved to Phoenix right before the holidays and are house hunting. They really didn’t need me in their way, but they welcomed me with open arms and hearts. For five days, I didn’t have to clean, cook, do laundry or be sad with Kevin. It was heaven. Jennifer and Scott didn’t have to let me visit, but that is what good friends do for each other. I will forever be grateful for their kindness.

Kevin enjoyed my time away too. He had friends in San Diego for a conference and got to spend some quality “guy” time. By the time I came home, I wanted to come home and Kevin wanted me home too. Even Lola seemed happier. I think we just needed time away from each other to grieve Archie’s death and get ready for Kevin’s upcoming procedure today.

This week was wonderful. We had bright sunshine and we enjoyed each other’s company. All this week I had a bible verse going through my mind. I finally had to look it up. John 16:33 “I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” Now, if you aren’t a religious person, you probably think it is silly to have this verse mean so much to me. But knowing that Jesus told us that we will have trouble, but to have peace because He has overcome the world we live in, did just that. It gave me peace to not worry about today.

Today started out a mess. Kevin called to confirm the procedure time because we didn’t receive a phone call yesterday confirming the time like they said we would. At 11:00, we found out we were supposed to be in La Jolla at 11:30. We were still in our pajamas and La Jolla is at least a 45 -minute drive. We got to the hospital at noon. Then he had to wait forever to get checked-in.   Finally, they called him back, and then, things went fast. I went to the lobby, texted Molly to let her know the procedure was starting, and then I started to pray. “Please, God, let it work, please, God let it work”. Over and over I prayed. I was still praying when I heard the doctor call “Lori”! His first words were “It worked! One zap!” Such a feeling of peace overcame my whole body. The doctor talked with me for sometime and he even stopped back in to see Kevin after he was completely awake. I thank God for this doctor’s care and wisdom.

Coming home today was so joyful! Kevin has no restrictions except to limit his beer consumption. He hasn’t been able to drink for a month, so I think he can live by this. It could take six to nine months for his heart to get back to full function, but the doctor said, “go and live your life” and that is what we are going to do!

Tonight, we are going to bed with grateful hearts. We are grateful for good friends. We are grateful for each other. Most of all, we are grateful to God for a successful cardio version. It’s been a tough month. One of the toughest. But we made it. We came through the tunnel to the light. Our future is bright.

Safe travels,

Lori

 

 

Limbo

 

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Patience has never been a strong point for me. As a child, I used to make myself sick with excitement before Christmas, my birthday or a big vacation. I have been known to make rash decisions that I later regret. When I want to buy something big, I put it on a credit card and decide how to pay for it later. I can’t stand it when people don’t find out the sex of their baby during ultrasound-HOW CAN YOU WAIT PEOPLE?? (Though I do think Gender Reveal Parties are out of hand.) I think my insomnia is partially due to my impatience. I hate to wait – for anything.

So, these days are tough for me. We are being forced to be patient. Everyday, Kevin takes his blood pressure and pulse to see if the medicine is working. Everyday, we wonder if his numbers are good enough for the next Cardio Version to work. Everyday, we miss Archie and wish we could get our new puppy sooner. Everyday, we wonder what the future will bring.

This time feels different for me. I don’t know if it’s age or if I am just too exhausted to be impatient. The slow days aren’t bothering me as much I expected them to. Maybe I have grown up a little, or maybe, I have learned to appreciate each day and the experiences it brings.

We aren’t the only one in limbo. Since Kevin’s diagnosis, we have found out that many people we know are dealing with serious Afib. I have a friend who was diagnosed with breast cancer a few months back. It was supposed to be a simple lumpectomy, but it has turned into a much more serious situation. We have friends whose Golden Retriever just had surgery for cancerous tumors and they are waiting to hear what their treatment options are. My dear friend who had knee replacement surgery in JUNE is just starting to get her mobility back. She has been in limbo for months! People are living with uncertainty in their lives all over the world.

I am a planner. I plan EVERYTHING. I drive Kevin and Molly nuts with my plans. I plan vacations a year in advance. I make a list and plan my day, everyday, and I feel lost when I don’t. I get upset when my plans don’t go the way I expect. So, you can imagine, how upsetting the last two weeks have been. My schedule hasn’t been mine. My plans have been changed constantly. My world has been unpredictable.

So, while the slow days aren’t bothering me as much, not being able to make plans is driving me a little crazy. I’ll start to think about planning something and then I will remember. Will Kevin be cleared by then? Oh, yeah, we will have a puppy then, we can’t go on a trip! How much is all this going to cost?? (I am big on budgets too.)

The hardest part of the slow days is watching how sad Lola is. I wish she could talk so I could explain to her why Archie left. I wish we were able to get a puppy sooner for her to play with and love. I wish she would run and play like she used too-but her playmate is no longer here. She is in limbo too and she doesn’t understand why.

So, we journey on. Kevin will continue to take his meds and his blood pressure. We will do as many activities as we can. February 6th isn’t really that far away. Then we will know if the meds worked and Kevin’s heart will get back to normal rhythm. Then I can make plans again (I refuse to accept anything but a positive outcome.) Then Molly and I can get excited about our Girls Trip to Palm Springs. Then I can visit Jen in Phoenix. Then we can get excited about the puppy. Until then, I am attempting to live by a saying that I have tried to adopt into my life. Cartoonist Bil Keane said, “Yesterday’s the past, tomorrow’s the future, but today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present”. What are you going to do with your gift today?

Safe travels,

Lori

 

 

 

HOPE

 

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Today was a tough day; I’m not going to lie. It was our first full day without Archie and I spent a good part of the day crying. It was also a day of hope and that is what I want to focus on-Hope.

Our first glimmer of hope came at Kevin’s doctor appointment with the arrhythmia specialist. While he confirmed what we already knew, he took the time to listen to us and answer our questions. He gave us hope that the medicine that Kevin is on is his best chance to get his heart out of Afib. Kevin has to take it easy the next few weeks and then the new doctor is going to try the cardioversion again. He believes that Kevin’s heart can completely recover from the Afib.

The second glimmer of hope came with all the love and support we received from friends and family today. I talked with my sweet friend Candace in Indiana who always knows the right thing to say to make me feel better. My friends Deb and Jane are taking me out for an early birthday lunch on Saturday (and a chance to get out of the house!) I love these new friends I have made in Oceanside. It’s like we have known each other for years. I talked with Molly multiple times and just hearing her voice cheered me up.

The third glimmer of hope came when the breeder of our new puppy called me back and talked about the process of adopting our new baby. Archie’s death has left a huge hole in our hearts and he can never be replaced. But we are DOG people and we need another puppy to love. Talking to her got me a little excited and a little less sad. (Just a little.)

The fourth glimmer of hope was the perfect bracelet I received in the mail from Candace. I wanted something to remember Archie by and she picked the perfect gift. I will treasure it always.

The fifth glimmer of hope was all the love and encouragement I receive on a daily basis from our wonderful Doodle friends here in California. We text multiple times a day and their love, support, encouragement and grief for Archie has meant the world to me. It is proof that God puts people in your life for a reason.

The sixth glimmer of hope is my Bible Study Fellowship lesson I did tonight. We are studying Hebrews and how Christ sacrifice is the only covenant we need. The lesson also emphasizes how you need to have faith and strength and continue to believe in Christ’s covenant during trying times. Boy, did I need to hear that!

So, today, I choose hope. The other options just don’t work for me. I thank God that I have the support system I do in my life. I thank God for letting us have Archie for eight years. I thank God for giving us hope for Kevin’s healing. I thank God for keeping me calm during this storm and guiding my path.

 

Safe travels,

Lori

 

 

 

 

 

 

Answers Part Two

 

We went to the human specialist yesterday, which was a cardiologist for Kevin. Again, the answer was not what we were hoping for. Our general physician diagnosed Kevin with Afib right before Christmas. Kevin was put on medicine to control his heart rhythm, but it didn’t help. Kevin was switched to a different medicine on January 3rd and we thought it was working. We were wrong.

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When we checked into the cardiologist yesterday, the nurse who was taking Kevin’s vitals, asked if we were up to date on the procedure Kevin was scheduled for Friday. We knew nothing of this procedure-we hadn’t even met the doctor yet! Turns out the echocardiogram Kevin had had the week before showed that he is in Afib all the time now and it has weakened his heart. The cardiologist scheduled Kevin a cardio vert today. It’s when they shock your heart back to normal sinus rhythm. We were blindsided that the situation was so serious.

My reaction surprised me. I was angry. Really angry-at Kevin. I had been after him for years to lose weight and change his eating and drinking habits. My anger was all consuming. My sweet niece called me and talked me off the ledge. Her father has just gone through this same situation over the past few months and she has a great perspective on our situation. She validated my anger but said I need to put it aside because Kevin is sick and needs me. My anger turned to fear. Fear that Kevin’s heart isn’t strong enough for shocking. Fear that he is going to die. Fear that I will be left alone without a husband. Last night was tough, but I was able to put away my fear and be supportive.

I would love to be able to write that the cardio vert worked, but it didn’t. They shocked his heart three times and each time it went back to Afib. They gave him an IV of medicine that is supposed to help put his heart back in normal rhythm along with oral meds to do the same. Luckily, I was able to get him into the Arrhythmia Specialist on Monday. We should get some more answers on what treatment Kevin needs to convert his heart rhythm back to normal. I have never looked forward to a doctor’s appointment more.

So, I continue to ask for prayers. Prayers that they find a way to get Kevin’s heart rhythm back to normal. Prayers that his heart stays in a normal rhythm. Prayers that Kevin uses this situation to lose weight and get in shape. Prayers that I can be the support system he needs and still stay strong myself. Prayers that Archie continues to do well on his meds so we have a little more time with him. Prayers for Molly, who feels helpless being so far away from everything happening here. Prayers that my family feels God’s grace and love and it is a comfort to us. Prayers for faith to get us through this tough time.

I knew this was going to be a tough week but I had no idea how tough. I really have no map to take me through this journey, but through it I must go. May mercy and grace be our roadmarks.

Safe travels,

Lori

A Real Sh*# Show

woman looking at sea while sitting on beach
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So, on top of having a very ill dog and waiting for our appointment Thursday with the human specialist, this has been a really shitty week. There is just no other way to put it. I know everyone wants to hear happy stories, but sometimes life just decides to let you have it all at once. I guess it’s our turn.

Our freezer compartment had been slowly dying and last evening we spent $99 to be told our refrigerator we bought with our house is 14 years old and was pronounced dead. We went up to Lowe’s at 6:00 last night and spent $2000 on a new one (one sale!) but it can’t be delivered until tomorrow. So we are currently living out of coolers. Not a big deal, I know, but wait there’s more!

Molly and I got new IPhones right before Christmas. The Verizon store gave us boxes to send the old ones back for credit. They both fit in one box and Kevin dropped them at the Postal Annex. UPS was due any minute, so they went out that day. For some reason, Kevin has been getting emails and texts saying that Verizon has never received our old phones. He called them today to find out what was going on and, guess what, they were stolen! The box weighed four pounds when it shipped out and 0 pounds when they received it! Luckily, the Verizon person was very knowledgeable and is looking into the incident further. It seems we will have put a claim into UPS and then we will be in the clear.

Our printer has stopped working with the Bluetooth; and I can’t scan Archie’s medical forms into my computer to send to the insurance company. Not a big deal, but we can’t afford a new printer right now with everything else, so our printer now resides in our living room. Not really the décor I am going for.

Finally, to top the day off, I thought it was my day to volunteer at the library. On the way there I am stopped on the highway waiting for a traffic light, when all of a sudden a panel truck pulls up next to me, on the side of the road, with two children in the front with him. Yes, he had to pull over to the side to stop so he didn’t rear end me and kill us all. I get to the library and find out that Homework Helpers doesn’t start until next week. Oh, and Kevin had a melt down at CVS, in front of the whole store, over Archie’s medicine.

We are to our boiling points. When you are facing major life changes, all the little stuff just adds to the suffering. You feel like you can’t handle anything more. So I am trying to focus on all the positives that have come out of this week.

We have received so much love and support from family and friends. All the phone calls, texts and FB and Instagram messages have meant so much to us. We feel your love and concern and it warms our hearts. We have each other to lean on and Molly has her wonderful friends to lean on. It has been sunny and warm in SoCal and it is amazing what five minutes of sun on your face can do to lift your mood.

Our sweet neighbors came over yesterday and cried with us over Archie. Then they gave us $300 to put towards Archie’s medical bills.

The refrigerator we wanted was in stock and on sale. Waiting 36 hours isn’t really that big of a deal. And we get to go to In-n-Out for dinner tonight.

I called our wonderful vet at Fishers Veterinary Hospital, Dr. Karen Collins, to see if she would consult on Archie’s case. She called back that night and talked with us for 20 minutes, even though she had a bad cold. She is truly an angel from God and I can’t recommend her highly enough if you need a vet in Indy.

My sister texted me. She never texts me. She didn’t know everything that is going on, just texted me out of the blue.

I see God everywhere. It is amazing that when you are going through tough times, is when you notice God’s presence more. I start Bible Study Fellowship tomorrow. I am so looking forward to studying God’s word in depth.

I have found joy in writing again. For months I thought I would never write again. But here I am, the words just rolling off my fingers. God is Good, All the Time.

Thank you for your love and support. Thank you for reading my humble words.

Safe travels,

Lori

 

 

Answers Part One

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We got an answer to one of our big questions today. It was not the answer we were hoping for. We had an appointment with a veterinary oncologist for our beloved Archie. Archie coughed up blood on Dec 28th. We took him to an Emergency Vet that night and they did a preliminary diagnosis, but we were holding out hope that the oncologist would say something else. Sadly, our worst fears were realized. Archie has metastasized lung cancer and it is incurable.   We are devastated.

Archie has touched so many lives in his short 8 ½ years, but none more than ours. My dear father passed away on July 8th 2011 and Archie came home with us July 23rd. He gave our family something to focus on other than our grief. Molly left for college a month later and having such a joyful puppy to concentrate on made her leaving a little bit easier. From day one, he has been our comfort.

I have always said that Archie is my spirit animal because we have spent so much time together and he has so much of my personality. He is easily startled, just like me and he is a caregiver, just like me. He has such a gentle soul and I knew from a young age, he would make a wonderful therapy dog.

Archie and I became a therapy team with Paws and Think in Indianapolis when he was two years old. We started at the Carmel and Westfield libraries, but soon became a therapy team at Washington Woods Elementary. I was working with special needs children and Archie was the perfect companion. He loved going to that school and seeing all the children. He loved having the children read to him and he somehow knew which children were nervous and which were comfortable with him. He won over even the most tentative child with his gentle manner. He was a Rock Star and he loved it. We were a therapy team at Woods for five years and they were five very rewarding years for both of us.IMG_7301

Lola came to live with us in 2014 and they became instant friends. Lola is so outgoing to Archie’s gentle ways, we have said that Lola has become Archie’s therapy dog as he got older. We put a sling in the backseat of my car so they could lie together. Archie has never liked riding in the car, but with the sling, they could be close and that calmed Archie’s nerves.

When we moved to California and had to drive across country, Lola kept Archie calm. We found out a funny thing about Archie during that trip. He always slept in his crate, but we couldn’t bring huge crates into the hotels every night. We decided to let the dogs sleep where they wanted and Archie wanted to sleep between Kevin and I with his head on our pillows. He still likes getting into bed with us and lying that way!

We joined a “Doodle” group when we moved to Oceanside and have made wonderful friends. They have been a great comfort to us while we are going through this tough time because they understand the bond we have with our dogs. Archie loved going on these “Doodle Romps”, but sadly, he has been to his last one. His breathing is so labored; we need to keep him quiet and comfortable.

The hardest day is still ahead of us. We will have to make the decision to say goodbye. The meds are only going to keep him comfortable for so long. We will have to decide when it is time and we have to be sure Lola has a chance to know he is gone. It will be a horrible day and I ask for your continued prayers.

Lola has never been without Archie. We worry that she will become depressed and sad. I have felt the desire for a puppy for a few months and I started researching breeders. Today, while we were in the oncologist office, I received a text from a breeder in Alpine, CA telling me they had reservations open on a litter of puppies due the end of February. We put a deposit down the same day we found out Archie was dying. We need something to look forward to and we need a pack mate for Lola. Kevin told me something his mother said after his father died that he has never told me before. She said, “It will never be the same, but it will be okay.” Such wise words from woman I never had the pleasure of meeting, for she died before we met. If we get a girl puppy, we are going to name her Irene, which was Kevin’s mother’s name. It just seems right.

Safe travels,

Lori

 

 

Challenges

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I haven’t written a blog post in months. Quite frankly, I didn’t feel like it. I had a bout of depression last August. We had had months of visitors and activities and then suddenly, no one. It took me awhile to admit I was depressed, but after getting my medication adjusted, I started feeling better.

Fall was filled with visitors and fun with new friends. Thanksgiving was spent with our California family and was wonderful. We started getting ready for Christmas and life was great. Until it wasn’t.

I don’t know why, but we are facing some really big challenges right now. We have both human and canine serious health issues. We also have some personal challenges we are facing.

So, I should be depressed again, but the medicine is working and I am feeling strong. This week is going to be a tough one – we are going to get answers to the challenges we are facing. I have no idea what to expect, once again I am traveling in an area where I have no map. I don’t know what knowledge I will have next week at this time that I don’t have now. I do know that I am not in control, God is, and that is how it should be.

We haven’t gone to church since we moved to California. Honestly, I don’t know if I feel comfortable in organized religion any longer. Too many issues make it hard for me to support churches and some of the hypocrisies they stand for. However, I do consider myself a Christian and I live my life according to Christian values.

I was having lunch with my sweet friend Jane a few weeks ago and we were discussing bible studies. We decided to join Bible Study Fellowship together. This is something that I have wanted to do for years. I did our first lesson yesterday, and reading the word of God and feeling His presence gave me such peace to face the week ahead. Our class meets on Wednesday, right in the middle of my tough week.  Coincidence?? I think not!

We have many people praying for us. We have Jewish friends, Catholic friends, Protestant friends and friends that I don’t even know what their religion is praying for us. I treasure each and every prayer. I feel God’s presence with us and I know things will be as they should be because we are in God’s hands.

The biggest gift we got this Christmas was two full weeks with Molly. She decided to extend her stay through New Year’s and having her here was amazing. She is the glue that holds our family together. She kept us busy having fun and playing endless games of Catan and laughing with each other. I thank God every day for our amazing Molls!

If you are a praying person, we would accept any and all prayers that things work out for the best. If you aren’t a praying person, then good thoughts and positive vibes will be accepted. Stay tuned…there will be more to this story.

Safe travels,

Lori

 

 

Growth

Growth is a good thing, right? When your child is born, you watch for signs of growth. There are even “milestones” that a child is supposed to reach by certain ages to be on track for normal development. You go to school to grow your knowledge and learn new things. You want to grow your in your career and, let’s face it, your bank account. You want personal growth too. You want to grow in your skills and your beliefs of how to be a better human being.

But what about when growth is painful? Those who know my daughter, Molly, you know that she is very tall. There was a time when she was growing so fast, her legs hurt. Yes, she had “growing pains”. We had a maple tree at our home in Fishers that grew so fast, the trunk split. We didn’t know if it would survive, but it did and became a beautiful tree. Sometimes growth that hurts is what makes us stronger, sometimes it breaks us.

When Kevin and I moved to Hickory, I went through great personal growth. The kind that hurts-a lot. I was away from “home” for the first time and I knew no one but Kevin in our new town. Luckily, we met wonderful people who helped me through this time of personal growth and I am a better person for it.

When we moved to Fishers, there were only 7500 residents. When we moved away last year, there were 100,00 residents, Talk about growth! Some of this growth was wonderful and some was painful. I am proud of the way that Fishers came through its growth. Fishers has a wide range of housing pricing, some of the best schools in the country and high average incomes.

Now we are in Oceanside and it is going through growing pains, the very painful kind. Oceanside is the last coastal town in San Diego County to be developed into a “tourist” town. One of the things that attracted us to Oceanside, was its ‘sleepy beach” town vibe. That vibe is starting to change and people are taking sides. There are the developers who have $$ in their eyes and there are the long time residents that want to keep that sleepy beach town vibe. There are many special interests groups and some of those are on Facebook. Thursday a comment was posted on one of these Facebook pages complaining that Oceanside still has housing under $399K and that is why it has a hard time attracting people who care. I found this comment ludicrous and I made a post stating my opinion. You see, the average income in Oceanside is less than in Fishers, but the inflation here is completely out of hand. Imagine my surprise when my post was attacked, not by the person who made the original post, but by a retired teacher who claimed that if you “sacrificed” you could make it as a teacher in Oceanside. My point, why should teachers, nurses, and social workers or any professional who makes the world a better place have to sacrifice to get by? Fishers was able to solve their housing issues with huge growth, why can’t Oceanside have a plan for housing for all? This woman went on ranting at me all day until I finally gave up and stop replying to her. It made me realize that this is going to be an ugly and drawn out fight between different interest groups in Oceanside. It is going to be painful.

The same day, we found out that the school district in Fishes that we so loved while our daughter attended there, voted down an anti-discrimination policy concerning students. LBGQT students in particular. Indiana conservative politics was one of the many reasons for us leaving Indiana and this is particularly disturbing because good friends of ours child just came out as Trans last year. We have many gay friends who we love dearly. I am proud to say our friends our not taking this sitting down. They have created a group called HSEquals and they are fighting this school board vote. The Mayor of Fishers and many state government officials have come forward in favor of the anti-discrimination policy. If you are a reading this and are a resident of Fishers, I urge you to get involved and stand up for what is right-equal treatment for all students. This growth will be painful for Fishers, but it is the right growth.

That brings us to today, Just miles from our new home, in a town called Poway, a 19-year-old male went to a synagogue and opened fire. He killed one person; I am not sure how many were injured. My heart aches for the people who were at their synagogue worshiping on the last day of Passover and experienced this act of hate and violence. This after the world is just learning all the terror that happened earlier in the week in Sri Lanka where Christians were attacked by Muslim extremists. I have one question, “Have we not learned anything from our history”?

This country (and world) is so divided right now, that we are not growing; we are failing to thrive as human beings. Social media makes it so easy to attack each other behind the mask of the Internet. Children start watching You Tube videos at an early age and want to BE those kids in the video, instead of leading their own lives. Parents are spending thousands of dollars to illegally gain entrance for their children in elite universities. Hate is everywhere-it wears on me and makes me extremely sad. My beloved father fought in WWII against hate and fascism. Sadly, both seem to be alive and well in our current society.

So, what’s a person to do? For me, I am just trying to make my part of the world a little nicer. I try to respect other people’s opinions, even if I don’t agree with them. I try to voice my opinions with kindness and love. I am trying to grow as a person. We, not only as a nation but also as the human race; seem to have forgotten the virtue of compromise and compassion. We seemed to have lost the ability to agree to disagree and still be friendly. The current fad seems to be hate anyone who isn’t exactly like us or wants the same things, or heaven forbid; has more than us. What ever happen to judging one other by how we treat each other? To innocent before proven guilty? To the pursuit of life and liberty for all? I hope we find it soon, I pray for us all that we do.

Safe travels,

Lori

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