We went to the human specialist yesterday, which was a cardiologist for Kevin. Again, the answer was not what we were hoping for. Our general physician diagnosed Kevin with Afib right before Christmas. Kevin was put on medicine to control his heart rhythm, but it didn’t help. Kevin was switched to a different medicine on January 3rd and we thought it was working. We were wrong.
When we checked into the cardiologist yesterday, the nurse who was taking Kevin’s vitals, asked if we were up to date on the procedure Kevin was scheduled for Friday. We knew nothing of this procedure-we hadn’t even met the doctor yet! Turns out the echocardiogram Kevin had had the week before showed that he is in Afib all the time now and it has weakened his heart. The cardiologist scheduled Kevin a cardio vert today. It’s when they shock your heart back to normal sinus rhythm. We were blindsided that the situation was so serious.
My reaction surprised me. I was angry. Really angry-at Kevin. I had been after him for years to lose weight and change his eating and drinking habits. My anger was all consuming. My sweet niece called me and talked me off the ledge. Her father has just gone through this same situation over the past few months and she has a great perspective on our situation. She validated my anger but said I need to put it aside because Kevin is sick and needs me. My anger turned to fear. Fear that Kevin’s heart isn’t strong enough for shocking. Fear that he is going to die. Fear that I will be left alone without a husband. Last night was tough, but I was able to put away my fear and be supportive.
I would love to be able to write that the cardio vert worked, but it didn’t. They shocked his heart three times and each time it went back to Afib. They gave him an IV of medicine that is supposed to help put his heart back in normal rhythm along with oral meds to do the same. Luckily, I was able to get him into the Arrhythmia Specialist on Monday. We should get some more answers on what treatment Kevin needs to convert his heart rhythm back to normal. I have never looked forward to a doctor’s appointment more.
So, I continue to ask for prayers. Prayers that they find a way to get Kevin’s heart rhythm back to normal. Prayers that his heart stays in a normal rhythm. Prayers that Kevin uses this situation to lose weight and get in shape. Prayers that I can be the support system he needs and still stay strong myself. Prayers that Archie continues to do well on his meds so we have a little more time with him. Prayers for Molly, who feels helpless being so far away from everything happening here. Prayers that my family feels God’s grace and love and it is a comfort to us. Prayers for faith to get us through this tough time.
I knew this was going to be a tough week but I had no idea how tough. I really have no map to take me through this journey, but through it I must go. May mercy and grace be our roadmarks.