The whole idea behind this blog was to write about the differences between when Kevin and I moved to North Carolina when I was 22 and moving to California now. After two months, the things I have noticed are not all what I expected to matter.
When we moved to North Carolina EVERYTHING was new. We were just starting out. We didn’t have many possessions, so what we bought ended up being the “first”. Our first Christmas tree together, along with the “first” ornaments. Our first house together along with our first dining room set. Buying cars together for the first time. But, most importantly, just learning to live together as a “couple”. Everything was fresh, new and exciting.
This move is completely different. We brought to California over 30 years together. We are putting “our” things into this house. It is just the two of us, but Molly’s presence is everywhere. We are a family now with “family” stuff. Along with all this stuff, are memories. We didn’t have memories when we moved to North Carolina; we had only known each a little over a year! Now we have a lifetime of memories. It makes this move easier because we know each other and we know how to comfort each other if one of us is having a “off” day. Moving to North Carolina was a big step when I was 22, but I knew I could go back “home” to my parents if I needed to. There is no “going” back this time. We are here and this is where we will stay. This was our final move and that is both comforting and unsettling. We are near the “end” of our lifetimes, not the beginnings. It gives you a totally different perspective on life moving at this age.
The other way that this move is different is what we miss from back “home”. When we moved to North Carolina, what I missed most were the people we left behind. We didn’t have email; texting, Facebook, or Instagram and long distance phone calls cost big bucks. I felt disconnected from my life in Indiana to the point where I was so homesick I could hardly stand it sometimes. We missed everything about Indiana, which is why we eventually moved back and stayed 30 years!With this move to California, what i miss is the same, but in a different way. Thanks to modern technology. I can talk or even see the people I am closest to on a regular basis. What I miss most is being somewhere familiar. We lived in Indianapolis for thirty years and Fishers for twenty-eight. I knew where everything was. I knew people all over the city. I had connections to my community!! I miss that so much! I guess that is why I ended up wanting a job when I didn’t think I wanted to work anymore. I need connections in my life! I need to feel a part of something bigger than myself. The advantage to making a big move at my age is that I understand myself so much more than I did in my twenties. I know what I need to be happy. Writing this blog is part of my happiness. It is a way to communicate with the bigger world. Yes, of course, I miss being with Molly and my friends, but I miss the familiarity that comes with those relationships the most. Does that make sense?? Of course, I know, the longer we live here; those connections will be made here too. Just in a different way, because I am a different person. I will be making connections as an “older” woman, not as a young just married woman or a new mom. I have “no map” for what is to come. It is both exciting and scary at the same time, because I have so much to compare this “new” life with. I just have to have faith that the next thirty years will be as exciting and life changing as the last thirty!!